This is a prompting Blog

My intent here is to write a poem from the prompt I give to you , the reader, in hopes that it will inspire something and get others to write with me.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Multi-Prompt Monday

Today is Multi-Prompt Monday here at Dodge Writes, which means the blogs we follow are going to be crammed into one or two poems. If you are joining us today on this adventure please note it is not necessary for you to do these prompts this way, but we do hope you stop in at each of these wonderful sites. You will enjoy each of them, make sure you link yours in and read as many as you can, they are really worth the time !

Today's prompts ...


Here at Dodge Writes we prompt you with USE THESE WORDS... The rules this time are you must use all 10 of the words given with any tense of the word .The words are... CREPT, COZY, DOWN, NEST, BUNKER, BRIEF, MARVEL, OVERCAST, BLIZZARD, PLAYED

Monday's Child #47 @  http://childrensverse.blogspot.com/  gives us this wonderful picture prompt...


Illustration by: Maj Lindman 1933


Monday Memories - #18 @ http://memories-on-mondays.blogspot.com/  Josie asks 'All the recent news about flooding and tornadoes has me wondering what kind of weather-related experiences you've had.'

One Stop Form – Octain week 2 – Guest hosted by Luke Prater, @ http://onestoppoetry.com/ please go to OSP to read the rules for this form as Luke explains it WAY better than I can ! Thank you Luke, Hope we do it justice !



LITTLE WITCH

Our sister is a little witch
she makes us fly on horses backs
up in the air we leave no tracks
but tell on her, we are no snitch
it's fun to fly up in the sky
under the moon we find our niche
she pulls the stars from little sacks
Our sister is a little witch

Our sister is a little witch
she weaves the night, the blues, the blacks
she tosses stars like they are jacks 
she does it all with a small twitch
she winks her eye, and gives a sigh
and she can sew without a stitch
she plays with us like we're knick-knacks
Our sister is a little witch



 
AND...


Our bunker's window was ajar
the overcast sky crept from a far
cozy in the nest that we made
a blizzard had come while we played
we did marvel in disbelief
how much came down, though it was brief
 
 

WHEW, Four in two...We are having a hard time getting Mr Linky tonight... sorry !

YOUR TURN
ENJOY
JL&B
 

9 comments:

  1. JL it is always so fun to read your poems and how you pull all the prompts together in your writing such wonderful talent.
    Blessings

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good job with the prompts! The results always make me, as a reader, feel good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How do you do it?! Your amazing my friend...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love your High Octain - and how you adapted it to the needs of your other prompts. i works just as well as a single unit, in my opinion, and I like the fact you changed the refrain in the second half. It is a complete delight.

    ReplyDelete
  5. very nice high octain with an effortless flow. i also liked the topic a lot and hope you have a child to read it to..
    your use of the form is flawless as far as i can see - though i really would break it into stanzas - 3 - 3 - 2 and then again 3 - 3 - 2. not only because the form would require it but i think it would also give the whole poem more room to breathe...just a thought..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Okay I have it up. I wrote it late last evening after a long drive home with little sleep. I think it is kinda of funky but... it is what came out of me.
    Blessings

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like your high Octain, it's light and bouncy and a god read that carried me along quite effortlessly. Favourite line is this one -

    Our sister sews without a stitch

    However as Claudia says you need to stanza-break this, not just to make it a true High Octain but it would aid readability, give the lines some breathing-space, give the piece more body overall and also make it feel more crafted on the page. Stanza-breaks are underrated!

    I have two options for stanza-breaking the High Octain. One I've only recently decided on as an alternative to the original. Here are both, original first -

    Our sister is a little witch
    she makes us fly on horses backs
    up in the air we leave no tracks

    but tell on her, we are no snitch
    it's fun to fly up in the sky
    under the moon we find our niche

    she pulls the stars from little sacks
    Our sister is a little witch

    Our sister sews without a stitch
    she weaves the night, the blues, the blacks
    she tosses stars like they are jacks

    she does it all with a small twitch
    she winks her eye, and gives a sigh
    or on a whim she'll just switch

    she plays with us like we're knick-knacks
    Our sister is a little witch


    Second - just two stanzas:

    Our sister is a little witch
    she makes us fly on horses backs
    up in the air we leave no tracks
    but tell on her, we are no snitch
    it's fun to fly up in the sky
    under the moon we find our niche
    she pulls the stars from little sacks
    Our sister is a little witch

    Our sister sews without a stitch
    she weaves the night, the blues, the blacks
    she tosses stars like they are jacks
    she does it all with a small twitch
    she winks her eye, and gives a sigh
    or on a whim she'll just switch
    she plays with us like we're knick-knacks
    Our sister is a little witch

    The other issue is that your third refrain (my favourite line, as it happens), though I see it needs some variation to avoid the repetition so close to line 8, doesn't as it stands qualify as a refrain here because you have changed it too much. Most importantly, the end-word is different. It's crucial that this remains the same. Variation is fine and can be desirable in many cases but they all still need to feel like they are basically the same refrain. The element of repetition needs to be strong enough - as a general rule I'd say at least four of the eight syllables should be the same, crucially the end one. I see the dilemma - you have a great line there and 'stitch' is integral to that - but in my experience there is always a way of enhancing lines in form-writing if you work at it , juggle syntax, rework phrasing etc (using tools such as thesaurus and rhyming dictionaries also).

    Fine High Octain though, for the most part you nailed it and it'sno mean feat, the double. Well done

    ReplyDelete
  8. love the light and fun feel of your high octain. it flowed beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I did your ten word prompt JL, but still no Mr Linky... Thanks for the challenge Hun x

    ReplyDelete